


the string that binds us

by 195cmclub (Claw512)



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Brother/Brother Incest, Kissing, M/M, Sibling Incest, Soul Bond, Soulmates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-09
Updated: 2020-06-09
Packaged: 2021-03-04 05:47:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,995
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24628780
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Claw512/pseuds/195cmclub
Summary: Sasuke no longer cared about the pain.Oh, there was a person on the other end that had to suffer alongside him? Well, tough luck
Relationships: Uchiha Itachi/Uchiha Sasuke
Comments: 5
Kudos: 91





	the string that binds us

**Author's Note:**

> Unbeta-ed. So unbeta-ed. I typed this out quickly to try and make it for nii-san's birthday so... I preemptively apologise for the mistakes.
> 
> Also this is for his birthday but Itachi is slightly OOC...
> 
> Happy birthday, nii-san.

“Keep yourself well for your soulmate, Sasuke.” Mama had said, all those years ago. “As they would feel your pain as if it was their own.” Sasuke, obedient and well-mannered, tried his best to follow her words, as best a happy, energetic child could do, anyway. 

“Nii-san, hurt.” He looked at his brother with wide wet eyes. 

Nii-san smiled and shook his head. He always did that whenever Sasuke messed up. Sasuke should feel… annoyed maybe? Or embarrassed? But instead he just felt cherished, indulged. Mama would probably have scolded him for hurting himself, but all nii-san did was flicking him on the forehead lightly before crouching down so Sasuke could hop on his back.

“Hey, nii-san.”

“Hm?”

“Am I a bad person?” 

Nii-san turned around slightly at the words. Sasuke couldn’t really see his face, but he could see the slight concern nonetheless. 

“What makes you think that?”

“I fell…” Sasuke hesitated… “I hurt my legs. That means I hurt my soulmate right?”

Nii-san laughed, so uncharacteristic of him. He hefted Sasuke up higher on his back.

“You didn’t do it on purpose, Sasuke, it’s okay. Beside,” this time he turned completely away so Sasuke couldn’t see his expression, “I’m sure it doesn’t even hurt that much.”

Sasuke grinned. “But it diiiid.” 

“Of course, of course.” Nii-san chuckled. 

Nii-san’s steps remained so steady all the way home. Mama wasn’t happy with Sasuke’s scraped knees, as he had expected, but since nii-san’s comforting words still rang in his ears, he was too happy to mind her berating.

After the massacre, well, Sasuke hardly cared.

Little cuts covered his fingers where he held the shurikens. Bruises ran up and down his legs. He barely felt the needles digging into his flesh from the Mist ninja. He definitely didn’t feel the kick to his legs or the punch to his face.

He had never felt any secondhand pain anyway, not even a slight phantom ache. It was clear he didn’t have a soulmate. It was redundant to be worried about something that didn’t exist.

When he saw nii-san… no, not nii-san... Itachi again, suddenly the world exploded in pain. It was just the kick to his stomach, it was just the broken arm, it was just the hand squeezing his throat. Sasuke tried to tell himself, except, no, the pain was deep in his chest, too, twining around his heart, so much so that he almost didn’t hear what Itachi said.

It didn’t matter, anyway, Sasuke saw red and black and then there was nothing but pain.

He hated the fangs that sunk into his neck, but he barely registered it over the feeling of dark chakra bleeding into his veins.

The pills were bitter.

“Not a single sound,” he heard one of the Otogakure shinobis say, muffled through the wooden wall of the box he was in, “impressive.” 

Sasuke shut his eyes.

In the darkness, Sasuke dreamed. He remembered nii-san coming home from a particularly difficult mission. Nii-san was clutching his left arm and even with the long sleeves he was always wearing it was clear that there was a bleeding wound. He refused to let Sasuke see it despite his begging, and only a few days later did he relent enough to let Sasuke help him change the bandage.

Nii-san was home that day, but their parents were not. It was such a rare occurrence in Sasuke’s short life that it made him high-spirited, made him feel responsible for his brother. Nii-san slowly took off his bandage as Sasuke filled the yuoke with hot water and brought it over with a clean washcloth. 

“Be careful, Sasuke.” Nii-san said.

“Yes, nii-san.” Sasuke said.

But, Sasuke was seven, and like all other seven-year-olds he wasn’t the most coordinated, or the most experienced at carrying a heavy object. As he went to put the yuoke down on the table, he lost his balance and some of the hot water splash onto his left forearm.

Sasuke yelped at the same time Itachi let out a strangled hiss. Nii-san immediately lurched forward to take the yuoke away as Sasuke bit his lips and tried not to cry. Luckily, the water wasn’t scalding hot, but it still left red welts on his skin regardless.

“Shush Sasuke, it’s okay. Sit down here.”

Nii-san stood up and got the ointment mama kept in her kitchen. His own injury ignored, he pulled Sasuke closer to him to look carefully at his burn.

“Sorry, nii-san.” Sasuke tried so hard to not cry, but he couldn’t help the slight twist of his mouth as he spoke. 

“No, I’m sorry, Sasuke. I should have known it would be too heavy for you.” 

Sasuke shook his head, and the motion made the tears come spilling out. Now that he was sitting in nii-san’s lap, looking down at nii-san applying the ointment on his burn, he could see what a big, deep, ugly gash nii-san’s injury was. 

“Don’t cry, Sasuke, it doesn’t hurt. I’m fine.”

It doesn’t hurt.

Doesn’t hurt.

Something bloomed at Sasuke’s feet.

He didn’t look back as he left. The answers were no longer in Konoha, maybe they never had been.

Nights after nights, he inadvertently came back to the memory, whose presence was like a thread of silver wrapping ever so slightly around his subconscious. All the edges of it blurred together. Was it Itachi’s left arm that was injured? Was it a sword wound or a kunai wound? What was the colour of the yuoke?

Did it really seem like Itachi had felt the hot water burn Sasuke’s skin?

When Sasuke closed his eyes, however, what he saw was the hallway of the inn and the hardened eyes of his brother. Itachi’s gaze was cold and unwavered the entire time it was fixed on him, like Sasuke was nothing more than a smudge on his shoe.

It couldn’t be, Sasuke thought and fell asleep, it just couldn’t be.

In the morning he would made up his mind, only for the night to bring back the uncertainty.

Orochimaru said there existed such a medicine.

Supposedly it temporary severed the connection between the person who took the medicine and their soulmate, only one way though. The user would still feel the pain of their soulmate, but their own wouldn’t transfer over.

“Why, you have someone you want to protect, Sasuke-kun?” Orochimaru said, wriggling his finger suggestively. Sasuke fixed him with a bored stare.

“Got it, got it.” The older shinobi chuckled. Sasuke hated it when Orochimaru did that. The hissing sound he made ran straight up Sasuke’s spine. Outside, though, he appeared as unbothered as always.

“I wouldn’t recommend it anyway. You would have to use it regularly, and its effect on your health would be devastating.”

Sasuke closed his eyes.

Old hallway, peeling green paint, Itachi’s cold, unfeeling eyes. His pale skin, almost sickly. Painted fingernails, to hide the bleeding underneath? The too big coat hanging loosely around his thin frame.

Don’t be mistaken, I’ll still kill you. I’ll cut you open and spill all your secrets out on the ground, Itachi.

Sasuke watched in satisfaction as the blade of the shuriken dug deep into his brother’s leg.

It wasn’t easy finding the ingredients for this ‘medicine’, would have been impossible without Orochimaru. Not that Sasuke had ever questioned his decision, but he had never been surer that it was the correct one than the moment he opened that dusty scroll.

He waited, but while he waited, he didn’t hold back. Itachi’s arm burned. Nothing Itachi’s eyes bled. Nothing.

Orochimaru burst out of his skin. Sasuke watched and... hoped? But the giant snake didn’t manage to ruffle as much as a hair on Itachi’s head.

Ah, so maybe that wasn’t it, after all. Sasuke glanced at the sky. Perhaps the time had come to use Kirin. He tightened his fists and then let go, let the illusion, the past happiness, everything, fall out of his palm, go.

Then he felt it.

The moment Itachi clutched at his chest the pain came roaring alive. Sasuke, taken aback by the intensity of it, screamed. It was like there was a hand around his heart, squeezing. Every cell in his body hurt. His right eye felt like it had been stabbed.

He was right, he was right.

Sasuke laughed, and laughed, and laughed. He couldn’t breathe because of the pain, still he laughed until his throat was hoarse and the laughter subdued into sobs. The anger surged in his chest faster and wilder than the Amaterasu itself.

But quickly, the pain faded, and Sasuke looked up to the absent of the giant yellow shadow. His eyes moved to his brother, his soulmate, who, maybe for the first time since Sasuke was old enough to remember, had a genuine expression on his face. Through the tears, Sasuke couldn’t tell what it was. Sadness? Regret? Horror? Pity? Humour?

Sasuke wanted to feel his death.

That was the reason for this. He wanted Itachi’s death to be carved into his soul. Sasuke wanted to look him in the eyes as Kirin struck him down and felt the last pain he would ever feel as the electricity fried his brain and stopped his heart.

But maybe not knowing was better.

You were supposed to do everything for your soulmate. You were supposed to love your soulmate. You were supposed to be two halves of the same soul. That was why your soulmate’s pain, you feel as your own. But all Sasuke’s soulmate had ever done was inflicting pain and taking everything away from him.

Sasuke had tried to convince himself that, if it were true, if Itachi were his soulmate and the drug he took were to protect Sasuke, then maybe there might be something more to the massacre, something more than a cold-blooded murderer to his once kind older brother.

Suddenly it all felt so meaningless.

His arms jerked, faster than he could think, and flung a handful of shurikens at Itachi. His brother dodged, but one still found its target and hit his right shoulder. Sasuke bit his lower lip as the throbbing started. He repeated the motion, and a different shuriken cut across Itachi’s cheek. Sasuke’s head jerked slightly to the opposite side away from the pain.

Not enough.

Kirin was ready, but Sasuke didn’t feel like he could get to high ground to perform it. Instead, he released three fireballs in quick succession, none of which grazed his brother’s shirt. The drug must be leaving his system, because Itachi seemed to be recovering little by little.

His core hurt, signalling that he was overusing his chakra, which probably was only good for one more fireball, and then he would be endangering his own life.

“Sasuke. Stop!” Itachi yelled at him.

Yellow shadow surrounded Itachi and Sasuke’s hands froze mid-seal. The pain was crippling, but Itachi didn’t seem to notice. He rushed towards Sasuke. A skeleton arm reached out to catch the younger Uchiha like one would catch a ragdoll. The force of it punched Sasuke’s breath out of his lungs. He gasped, and once he was able to blink the stars in front of his eyes away Itachi was already standing before him.

“Sorry, Sasuke.” Itachi said, and then the world went black.

-

Itachi was the first to sense something was wrong when Sasuke started crying in the middle of the night. He didn’t know why he knew the hot spasm in the depth of his stomach wasn’t his, just that it wasn’t. He insisted his parents take Sasuke to the hospital right away, and it saved the baby’s life.

Itachi didn’t tell anyone.

He started taking the medicine right after the Chuunin exam. One stray punch was all it took for him to realise that the path he was heading down at his early age was too much for his brother. Shisui knew, but Shisui never interfered with his decisions, he never judged, and he never asked.

Sasuke often marvelled that he could never hide his injuries from his brother. And Itachi liked it that way. Tripped on the way to school. Hit his head on the table picking up a pencil. Tousled with a kid in class. Itachi knew about them all. He was glad for the pain, because he could know exactly when and how to make Sasuke feel better.

As the shuriken cut through Sasuke’s shirt and his skin (and he was so small, so tiny, just a baby, his baby brother), the pain resonated on Itachi’s arm. This time, he couldn’t do anything but leave.

Itachi rubbed his fingers together. It was already midnight, but the newest cut appeared only about ten minutes ago.

They didn’t really have anything to do with it, but Itachi had wanted to burn Kirigakure to the ground. He took satisfaction, instead, in the death of its jinchuuriki.

What he wanted to do was to take Sasuke into his arms and smell the sunshine on his hair like he used to. What he did was none of that. He felt the kick, how could he not. He felt the broken arm, too. Sasuke’s eyes became glassy as Tsukuyomi took hold of him. Two people, enough to make Tsunade want to come back. When Jiraiya’s jutsu took over, Itachi easily let Sasuke sink into its embrace. Years of practice served their purpose, although he was sure Kisame had looked at him suspiciously at least twice as they left the inn.

“Foolish brother.” Itachi had mumbled when he felt the bite.

Everytime he wiped the blood off his skin, he was glad that Sasuke didn’t have to feel a thing. It was ironic that the medicine was also killing him, but Itachi didn’t have a thing to complain about.

As long as Sasuke was alive...

-

Sasuke opened his eyes.

He recognised his surrounding as a small cave. He turned towards the light, and there was his brother, sitting at the entrance with his tattered Akatsuki coat around his shoulder.

Immediately the kunai came out. He pressed the blade against Itachi’s throat, who passively let him do it. Sasuke blinked. His head raced with all the memories he had seen in his dream.

“I’m not asking for your forgiveness.” Itachi said. “I just want you to know that it isn’t true that your soulmate doesn’t love you.”

“You know nothing of the truth.” Sasuke hissed. The words came out tasting weak and bitter on his tongue instead of the poisonous condemnation he had wanted them to be.

“Indeed.” Itachi agreed with him. It wasn’t condescending, but Sasuke still hated it. Itachi titled his head and blood welled up around the blade. Sasuke realised he didn’t feel the pain from the cut. He must have taken the medicine again.

“I killed father, and mother.” Itachi said. “I killed the clan, every last one of them. I pushed you towards a path I had planned for you, not caring if that was what you wanted or not. I hurt you, over and over again. I might be your soulmate, but I’m no longer your brother, or your friend. I’m your enemy.”

“Why?” Sasuke asked. “Why?”

“I told you why.”

“That was a lie.” Sasuke’s lips curled in a snarl.

“Does it matter if it was or wasn’t? Whatever my motive was, my actions remained the same.”

“It matters to me.” Sasuke raised his voice. “I’m standing here. It matters to me.”

Itachi looked at him.

“You really have grown up, Sasuke.”

Slowly, he reached up and took hold of Sasuke’s hand and the kunai. He pressed it harder against his neck. The blood rolled ever so slowly down his skin. “You truly have surpassed me. Nothing else needed to be said.”

“Do it, Sasuke.”

Sasuke never dared to command Itachi to do anything.

Sure, he would request, and whine, and sulk. But his brother had always been the one to run the show, the one to call the shot. And Sasuke, always blindsided by the sight of him, only followed.

This time was no exception.

Itachi told him to do it? Fine, he will.

“Uchiha Itachi, dead would be too easy for you.”

The kunai rolled away with a clang.

Nothing compared to a soulmate’s kiss, people said. Warmth flooded Sasuke’s whole body. Nii-san’s lips were surprisingly soft. Sasuke cupped his neck with his now empty hand. The skin of his palm tingled at the contact. Nii-san took in a startling breath, but, unlike what Sasuke had expected, didn’t push him away. Sasuke's knees hit the ground as he tried to get closer to his brother. His other hand went to nii-san’s cheek. He kissed him again. His lips clumsily caressed his brother’s lower lip. He kissed the corner of his brother’s mouth, then the cut on his cheek.

“You’re sorry? You’re truly sorry?” Sasuke whispered into Itachi’s temple. “Then spend the rest of your life making it up to me. You took away my soulbond, nii-san. I want it back.”

“Sasuke...”

“Or is it no more than another one of your lies?”

Suddenly, the world lurched forwards. Nii-san pulled Sasuke into his lap. His palm pressed flat against Sasuke’s back, pushing him hard against his own chest. He pried Sasuke’s mouth open and thrust his tongue in between his lips. A strange moan Sasuke almost didn’t recognise was his own stumbled out of his throat.

His brother tasted sweet, sweeter than those dangos Sasuke remembered him to be always eating. Sasuke should hate sweet, but he couldn’t get enough of it. He silently, greedily demanded more, and more, which his brother complied.

When they broke apart, Sasuke’s lips had become swollen and slightly numb. There was a slight trace of saliva that ran down his chin. He was pleased to see that his brother’s face was tinted a dusty pink. He looked more alive than Sasuke had ever seen him.

“I am truly sorry, Sasuke.”

“Okay, nii-san.” Sasuke exhaled. “I believe you.”

**Author's Note:**

> how many times can I insert 'itachi takes dangerous drugs that affect his health' into my fics


End file.
